Divorce and Church Leadership

Recently we studied the topic of “Divorce and Remarriage” in our Sunday night “Hard Questions” series. We were unable (due to time) to get to implications for church leadership. As promised, here our some notes to reflect on.

The debate really centers on the meaning of the qualification μιας γυναικος ανδρα, usually translated "husband of one wife" in 1 Timothy 3 for both pastors (elders) as well as deacons.

A few cautions:

1. Too Inclusive: Some, in the name of grace, want to lower the bar and make it easier for people to qualify as elders or deacons. This is usually because someone “knows someone” who they think should qualify rather than starting with the Scripture.

2. Too Exclusive: Others will wish to raise the bar and make it more difficult to qualify.

3. We should not make the qualifications of pastor/deacon any more inclusive or exclusive than God does. We must let the text say what it says, regardless of how difficult or unpopular it may be. Scripture is not written to back up our preferences.

Views on “husband of one wife”

1. Polygamy: Some say the phrase should be taken to mean that a polygamist is not qualified to be a pastor or deacon. This is the most literal interpretation of the phrase. Though I have been quick to dismiss this view in the pastor, there is a credible argument to be made on this point. D.A. Carson, for instance, argues that Paul is talking about those who have come into the church from the “outside” world, which would have had polygamist. As a mark of church leadership, pastors and deacons should be models for the “one-wife” picture of Genesis 2. Though credible, I am not convinced (yet) that this is what Paul is addressing directly (though indirectly in certainly applies).

2. Married, not single: This is remotely possible since the Sanhedrin—an elder sort of leadership body—required that its members be married, because a married man would be more merciful in his judgment. That Paul is requiring that all church elders and deacons be married seems unlikely, since Paul himself was not married, and actually argues for greater ministry freedom for the unmarried (1 Corinthians 7). The apostle Peter calls himself a fellow elder in 1 Peter 5:1: “Now the presbyters among you, I, who am fellow presbyter and witness of the sufferings of Christ and a partaker of the glory that will be revealed, exhort: shepherd the flock of God among you, being overseers....”

3. Moral Purity: This would indicate that a pastor or deacon must be absolutely loyal to the woman he is married to. This interpretation focuses more on moral purity than marital status. Given the additional clause of “above reproach” moral purity is most certainly apart of the qualifications whether that is what is meant by “husband of one wife” or not.

4. One Marriage (no divorce): The phrase could also be understood to declare that in order to be an elder/deacon/pastor, a man can only have been married once, meaning his has never been divorced. The problem with this view is that someone could be divorced and never have remarried and would not have broken this qualification theoretically. In other words, since singleness is clearly not apart of the discussion (see comments above) and a man has divorced by not remarried, one could not argue that “being the husband of one wife” has been broken based upon the divorce alone.

It is noteworthy that Paul doesn’t say “no divorce” he says “husband of one wife.” If that is what Paul meant, it would have been easy to make such a statement clear. In addition, the Bible provides grounds for divorce: adultery (Mt. 19:9) and abandonment of a non-believing spouse (1 Cor. 7:15). This does not settle the question about pastors and divorce, but it does tell us to acknowledge that a pastor, like anyone else, can be the innocent victim of a spouse’s covenant-breaking sin. Moreover, the biblical standards for the office of elder – which includes pastors – contain guidance about marriage.

Therefore, if a man can justly (keeping within biblical guidelines) divorce his wife it doesn’t not necessarily make him unqualified (it doesn’t guarantee that he is qualified either).

What it does mean?

Interpretations 1) and 3) are the most likely. Interpretation 4) seems to be unlikely, primarily because Scripture clear permits (though doesn’t command) divorce in exceptional circumstances (Matthew 19). Since, therefore, the phrase “husband of one wife” do not necessarily exclude a divorced man from serving as an elder/deacon/pastor, there are other issues to consider one must consider.

1. “Above reproach”: The divorce could have occurred in a way that disqualifies a man over this. The means circumstances of the divorce matter. If the man committed adultery and abandoned his wife and children, then he has broken this qualification. But if the man was the innocent party or and if the man has gained the respect of Christians and non-believers by his subsequent conduct in marriage, then I do not see why his divorce renders him less than “above reproach.”

2. “Manage his household well”: Paul links the man’s ability to lead the church as demonstrated in his ability to lead his family. If the divorce someone breaks this then he would be disqualified. However, if the divorce is not a reflection on the man’s leadership (and there are certain examples of this) then the divorce does not necessarily disqualify.

3. Did he remarry? If he divorced for non-biblical reasons and remarried then he is not a “one-woman man” and would be disqualified based on this qualification. See Luke 16:10 and Mark 10:10-12.

4. Is he sexually faithful? Regardless of divorce or no divorce, is he currently sexually faithful to his wife.

Additional comments on the phrase “husband of one wife”

“The phrase literally reads, "one-woman man." As simple as that sounds, it has been the subject of numerous interpretations....(some) have interpreted the phrase to mean that a candidate for overseer must never have been divorced in his life...But this seems to be too restrictive...in light of Jesus' words in Matthew 19:9, where he permits--though He does not promote--divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality. So what does 'husband of one wife' mean? Taken in its most basic sense, it means that an overseer, if married, must be married to only one woman (which excludes bigamy, polygamy, and homosexuality) and must be devoted to his wife (which excludes promiscuity and an unhealthy marriage)." (Chuck Swindoll, Guide to 1st Timothy, pg 41)

"Paul is not referring to a leader's marital status...rather the issue is his moral, sexual behavior. Many men married only once are not one-woman men. Many with one wife are unfaithful to that wife. While remaining married to one woman is commendable, it is not indication or guarantee of moral purity. Some may wonder why Paul begins his list with this quality. He does so because it is in this area, above all others, where leaders seem most prone to fall. The failure to be a one-woman man has put more men out of the ministry than any other sin. It is thus a matter of grave concern. The Scriptures permit and honor second marriages under the proper circumstances....Still others hold that this qualification excludes divorced men, from spiritual leadership. That again, ignores the fact that Paul is not referring to marital status. Nor does the Bible forbid all remarriage after a divorce. In Matthew 5;31-32 and Matthew 19:9, our Lord permitted remarriage when a divorce was caused by adultery." (John Macarthur)

Final Comments

1. Therefore I believe what Paul has in mind is that to be the “husband of one wife” or “a one-woman man” means that…

a. If married, he is morally pure and faithful to his wife (obvious from text).
b. Not a polygamist (obvious from text).
c. If divorced, he was not the guilty part and the divorce was on biblical grounds (from other Scriptures and “above reproach” clause).
d. If divorced, the divorce did not bring reproach on his name nor bring question to his ability to lead and manage his family (from the “above reproach” and “manage his household well” clause).
e. If divorced and remarried, does the remarriage make him unable to be considered a “one-woman man?” If divorced and remains single (given the above is true) then he is still qualified as well.

2. Grace makes clear that all sin is forgiven in the cross, but it also calls for us to hold church leaders to a high standard.

3. It is important to remember, though, that just because a man is disqualified from serving as an elder/deacon/pastor, he is still a valuable member of the body of Christ and can (and should) serve in many other key leadership positions.

Pastor Wes